Loving Yourself Enough To Push Past Fear. (&my yoga experience)

I found myself literally bursting into tears, trying to hide it from the class and the yoga instructor, because I had finally loved myself enough to push past fear. For YEARS I had wanted to try yoga. I had started workshops that had yoga incorporated, I had supported other yoga instructors in their practice but I didn’t have the courage to walk into a class on my own, grab a mat and just be.

Working with other women has taught me to love myself slowly but surely. I don’t have it all figured out and I still have a long way to go but sharing the journey with others makes it a whole lot easier. Yes…coming to realize you are a beautiful person just as you are in the here and now is a very personal experience. It has a unique balance to it that is both highly serious and at the same time very light weight. It is personal and calls for a tribe of likeminded people to share your experience with.

Working on myself I began to buy different foods, I have started a workout routine and I journal every morning with a cup of chocolatey chai tea. I was doing all of this and yet yoga still called to me. It was in the still small whisper of my soul…it said “try me, you’ll like it”. For years I pushed it away, but I have come to find that the more you open up to your own self worth the more you start to listen to the whisper. The faint breath that speaks to your heart and not your ego. The breath that wants whats best for you and whats best for others. The breath that breaths life into everything.

So…I listened to it.

And it was wonderful.

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I felt like I had found a part of me I had lost in a past life, or perhaps in the beginning of this one. It felt like a coming home and that is why I began to cry.

Yoga felt like home, like I had found myself and my place and everything was going to be alright if just for the moment.

Loving yourself enough to push past the fear and listen to the whisper of your soul means everything. It means your willing to try. It means you love yourself enough to just get out there and do it, sacrificing your ego for a little bit of nurturing. It is hard, your scared, you don’t know what to expect, your mind is telling you to turn back and just go home to watch netflix. Listen to your heart for it guides you in the right direction.

Find what you are afraid of, what you fear. What is holding you back? What do you love yourself enough to do? What do you love yourself enough to try? I promise you this…you are worth it. You are worth every minute of it.

Don’t allow yourself to stay stuck. Don’t allow yourself to have regrets in old age. Once you begin to love yourself nothing can stop you from just being you and that is a damn beautiful thing.

Remember: You are Loved. You are Worthy. You are blessed.

& you are worth every minute of pushing past your fear to do something your soul will thank you for.

 

Carlee xoxo Β  Β … (Oh and I went to The Twisted Fish in Port Dover with Christie. She is SO nice)

April Β 8th is 7 days of self care Free

  • April 17th is Free Crystal Reiki Art Journaling online Class

 

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The Harsh Reality of Parenting Yourself…and why it’s the key to accomplishing anything.

It’s a really uncomfortable thing to admit.

The fact that you now have to parent yourself. In fact it’s a little embarrasing realizing the need to do so. It feels as if now that we are “adults” we should have it all figured out.

It’s all about doing the shit that you don’t really ever want to do and forcing yourself to do the shit you need to do. It gets better though, trust me.

Parenting yourself is just accepting the simple fact: If you want your life to change, you have to do shit you don’t feel like doing. I don’t mean like taxes, I mean things that will benefit you and force you to grow. Force you to step out of the comfort zone you have built for yourself and into a more fulfilled life.

Examples: Working out, eating better, waking up earlier, trying that “thing” you’ve always wanted to try, talking to new people, attending an event, cleaning your house, starting a blog, taking a class.

It can seem really easy to just go through life accepting the things that happen to you and going with the flow. That’s cool. Everyone is on their own journey.

But if you feel like someone who wants more. Who feel they deserve more out of life then it’s time to step up and get real with yourself. Where is your parenting slacking? Mine personally is in the health department. I need to kick my own ass into working out every day for as little as 15 minutes. I want the benefits that come with it! It’s taking the first initial action that’s often the hardest.

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So get real with yourself.

 

Before you get too old to really live and before you inevitably die…what is it that you want out of life. Design the life you want. Become clear and concrete about what it looks like and start parenting yourself in order to make it happen.

You want to become a runner? Set the alarm clock earlier, force yourself to wake up just like your parents used to do and get outside.

You want to get that job? Force yourself out the door, create a new resume, a branded linked-in profile, get creative and get moving.

You want to write a book? Get writing your rough draft. Edit. Send to an editor. Attend writing conferences. Make it happen.

Maybe you want something small or maybe you want something that will take a little more work…a little more parenting. Whatever you want I garauntee you have the ability to make it happen if you believe in yourself and if you have the strength to parent the hell out of yourself.

It’s not easy. It’s terribly hard.

Will it change your life?

Definitely.

Carlee. xoxo

 

P.S Let me know what you need to parent yourself on most and how it’s working for you!

The Naked Truth Behind Procrastination

I recently learned that procrastination is a stress reliever. Good ol’ Mel Robbins. My friend Laurie told me about her over coffee. As soon as I got home I listened to her youtube video. She said procrastination is a relief from our minds.

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I then realized I worry…a lot, ALL day actually. I worry about my future, my finances, about cleaning my apartment, about my dog, about my writing, about my family, about life in general. There are SO many things that we have absolutely no control over. It can really get overwhelming.

So what do you do?

You take one small step in the right direction. You just keep doing the next right thing and then the next right thing after that. One small movement is all it takes. Often it feels like your ultimate goal is so big that its almost impossible. Our lens is too wide. What we are looking for is right in front of us…we just can’t see it.

Personally my mind can go a mile a minute. One of the biggest lessons in life that I’ve learned so far is to just slow it down. Slow it down and focus. You can only achieve so much each day but doing one thing every day in the direction of your dreams adds up. For some it adds up fast. For others, like me, it can be a bit slower. I like to take a few detours now and then.

If procrastination is both a stress reliever and fear manifesting itself in the most unproductive way possible, the next logical step would be to figure out what exactly it is your afraid of. Failure? Success? Tests?…The all encompassing future?

I came to the conclusion that I am afraid to try what I am truly passionate about because if I failed at that I’m not sure I’d have anything left.

And that exact ephiphany gave promise to a lifetime of trying.

And that’s all you can really ask of yourself when it comes down to it.

Would you rather die with regrets or knowing you did everything you could in order to succeed? I’m more of an everything girl myself.

So what are you running from? What lights your heart up and makes you lose track of time? What do you want to try to achieve before it’s too late?

Every successful person started with an idea, a passion, a plan and then they executed small steps each and every day. When we see them now we see the end result. It took thousands and thousands of days and millions of microscopic decisions to achieve success. We must allow ourselves to do the same.

Maybe it all comes down to believing we are worthy.

So here it is. You are WORTHY of a beautiful life.

Now, stop procrastinating and do the next right thing. It’s all just a little more satisfying that way, don’t you think?

 

Carlee. xoxo

The Experience, Baby.

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Another night, at home watching “This Is Us” on netflix. Eating peanut butter from a spoon. My little frenchie Alice snorts like a plump pig as I happily give her the rest. Sometimes life itself feels entirely empty and I have no way of filling it back up again. I mean.. with meaning, of course.

Ive always wanted to make a difference, somehow. I feel like I’ve lived a million fragmented lives with all the things I’ve tried and jobs I’ve had. I am 26 years old and worked more jobs than all my years on earth. All in search of myself, in spite of myself.

The biggest regret they say, near the end of a life, is having too many regrets. The advice we always hear is to .. live, REALLY live while we’ve got the chance. I suppose I’ve tried. What a wild adventure and near the end I’ll share it with my grandkids If I ever had them.

“Grandma had commitment issues that echoed into every part of her life” I’ll say and they will nod their heads naive to the stigma attached to the choices I made.

Last night I pushed my seat back in the car and looked up a the stars while he drove. Everytime I do that I feel so small. So bewildered by the beauty that is in every single tiny piece of this universe.

What is the meaning of life? To experience it.. of course. It’s all about the experience baby.

There are the wars, and the children with terminal illness, the abuse of power and the mask of sanity that keeps us all docile. They put sugar in everything so we don’t know we are addicted,I got sober just long enough to get hooked on chocolate.

“They” sell our information to third parties who use it to suck us dry until every bit of money, emotion..life has been drained and we let them. We let them because we want to stay “connected”, as if we weren’t connected before.

So, what’s the meaning of life? The experience baby, the struggle. Don’t you feel alive? Β “They” say it’s all perspective.

I’ve been a fish cutter, a baker, a salesman, a cook, a housekeeper, a pizza maker, a walmart greeter, a farmer, a factory worker, newspaper page designer, dog walker and cosmetician.. to name a few. My latest gig was tattoo artist apprentice and of course throughout it all, a writer.

What have I learned? What infinite wisdom do I have in my youth? Don’t settle. Don’t settle until you find the thing that makes your stomach fire ignite and your soul say “this, this, this”. Keep a close watch for the quiet whisper, the soft nudge, the hidden clues. Your path is out there, amongst the chaos, behind all the rubble. There you are, you, all of you.

Don’t let “them” tell you what to be. Your parents, your boss, your lover, the world. If “they” take that.. then what else have you got?

The experience baby.. the experience.

 

Carlee Lloyd.